Kuroko no Crackfiction
by Arancia-chan
Summary: #1:Kise wonders how he looks in Kuroko's eyes #2:Kuroko is a bit sadistic, Kagami is bound and Akashi is a papa-bear #3:Kuroko reminds Aomine about Kagami's birthday #4:Kuroko admires Midorima's fingers #5:Kuroko wonders why Murasakibara's name is long #6:Takao tries to get Midorima to say his name. #7:Midorima and Takao talk about feelings *8:GoM argues about Kuroko's future job
1. Gold

Forgot to edit this in, sorry.

Disclaimer: Kuroko no Basket is not mine, I'm just borrowing the characters.

* * *

For him, Kise Ryouta was like gold. Pure, untainted gold. It wasn't even because of his colouring. Maybe that helped a little but the reason Kise reminded him of gold was because of its similarity with the model. Kise himself had asked about this to him, in which he answered as bluntly as usual.

"Ne, ne, Kurokocchi~" Kise drawled, moving to place his head on Kuroko's lap. He grinned wide when Kuroko's hand settled on his head, stroking lightly. "How do I look in your eyes?"

Kuroko stared down at him blankly. "Like Kise-kun of course. How else?"

Kise whined at the straight-forward answer. He pouted and made teary eyes at Kuroko, who of course, wasn't affected. "Kurokocchi...! I mean, you know how people are usually reminded of a person when they see something else?"

Kuroko's eyes lightened a bit in understanding. "Ah. Like how Kagami-kun reminds me of a tiger?"

Kise's energetic nod was his answer. Kuroko pondered for a bit, looking up at the ceiling of Kise's room.

"I think you are like gold..." he murmured after a while. Kise rebounded immediately, asking him questions of why and what part of him reminded Kuroko of gold. Kuroko stared at the male whose head was on his lap blankly.

"Kise-kun is like gold. Pure, untainted gold. Because Kise-kun is always shining and attracted people's attentions. Kise-kun also makes some people happy and jealous with his presence. Also..." Kuroko trailed off.

"What? Also what?" Kise asked, his face flushed in embarrassment and happiness. He looked up at Kuroko with big eyes, resembling a puppy more than the gold like Kuroko had described. Kuroko could almost see the tail wagging and the ears perking up.

"And I think, Kise-kun is precious."

The somewhat embarrassed, wide and beaming bright grin he received was worth the small half lie he had said. Kuroko smiled secretively while petting Kise's head.

'Actually I wanted to say that you are pliable in my hands, Kise-kun. Just like how pure gold is so easy to be made into other forms. But I guess you being precious is not a lie. And I am lucky to have you.'


	2. Questions

Thank you for all those who favourited and followed this story. I love you.

Next story is here. Enjoy.

Standard disclaimer apply.

* * *

He wondered what brought this situation to him. The day had started normal enough. Well, at least as normal as it could be for someone who lived among borderline insane, pretty much weird and somewhat unstable people. It wasn't like he hadn't expected for the day to arrive, no. He did. But for it to happen like it had was not something he would have expected.

"So this person is a male, yes?"

"I thought you would have known my preferences since long ago, Akashi-kun," Kuroko deadpanned.

Akashi smiled at him, his eyes glinting as well as the scissors in his hands. Kuroko wisely shut himself up and sat obediently, waiting for the next question.

"And perhaps, he has big build?" Akashi asked again, circling the occupied chair in front of him menacingly. Kuroko nodded mutely. Akashi smirked in satisfaction. "Does he happen to be a basketball player? A power forward to be specific?"

Kuroko sighed and nodded. He wondered since when Akashi Seijuuro had taken the position of his father. Oh well...

"Tetsuya,"

"Yes?"

Akashi stared at him with his intimidating mismatched eyes, making Kuroko blink in uncertainty.

"Is he your teammate, Tetsuya? This lover of yours, I mean."

Kuroko sighed audibly. "I don't see why you still bother to ask me those questions when you have the person right in front of you, Akashi-kun."

Akashi smirked, his scissors inching threateningly towards the neck of another red head currently tied up on the chair in front of him. "Ah, but he doesn't admit it, see? I just want to make sure I get the right person before I, ah... ask him questions about his... faithfulness to you," Akashi smiled a wide, close eyed smile.

Kuroko sighed for the umpteenth time that hour. "Don't bother, Akashi-kun. You said it yourself. You are always right."

Akashi looked pleased. His scissors went a bit further away from the flesh of Kuroko's lover's neck.

"Well then, I have to leave now. Momoi-san asked me on a date. I'll see you later Kagami-kun. If you survive that is."

Kagami struggled against his bindings, screaming behind his gag. He stilled when Akashi snipped his scissors near his ear.

'Damn it Kuroko! Don't leave me here with this psycho!'

If anything, Akashi's smirk only widen and the glint in his eyes magnified. "I'm sure we'll have a great time together, Kagami Taiga."

'NOO! KUROKO! SAVE ME!'


	3. Purezento da!

Almost forgot to update.

Thank you for new favourites and followers and all who read this. Love you all.

As for your review, **Dream Bound Nightmare**, uh. What? Is there anything you don't get?

Anyway, enjoy. This time it's Aomine and Kagami.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

* * *

Kuroko walked past the gate of Seirin High his cell phone in his hand. He pressed a string of numbers he used to be familiar with.

*RING RING* CLICK

_"__Yeah?"_

"It's Kagami-kun's birthday, Aomine-kun."

There was silence from the other side of the phone. Kuroko didn't mind it, keeping the phone to his ear and waited patiently.

_"…__that so…"_

The blue haired phantom player smiled slightly. "Did you buy anything?"

_"__W-why would I—?!"_

"You can't lie to me, Aomine-kun."

Kuroko heard a heavy sigh and almost laughed. _'Aomine-kun is such a simple minded person...'_

_"…__hey Tetsu?"_

"Yes?"

_"__Can you come over today? You still remember the way to my house right?"_

"No need to ask. I'm already on the way."

The spluttering from the other end made Kuroko's day better.

Aomine sighed once again. _"Always one step ahead, huh,"_ he commented in exasperation._"Well then see you in a bit."_

"Yes, and please get ready right now," he said flatly.

_"__I know that! Sheesh…"_

With a smile, Kuroko ended the call. "He's so easy to read."

* * *

OMAKE

"Kagami-kun."

"GYAAAA!"

Kuroko waited until Kagami was no longer on the verge of having a heart attack. Once the red head was calm enough, he immediately cut off the protest he had heard for, like a million times.

"I am meeting up with Aomine-kun on a basketball court today," he said, moving to sit on his seat behind Kagami. "Wanna come along?" _'So easy…'_

Kuroko didn't have to wait long before Kagami changed into puppy mode with twinkling eyes.

"Okay! What time?"

* * *

"…so, where's Kuroko?"

Kagami glanced at the blue haired teen sitting on the bench beside him. There was something peculiar about the tanned teen's gesture. And it was making Kagami uneasy.

Aomine was silent for quite a long time before sighing. He stood up, a package in his hand and loomed over Kagami.

"He's not coming."

Kagami backed away. "Huh, what do you—?"

"I said he's not coming. Also... it's late but here." Aomine shoved the package into the redhead's hands. "Well, that's all. I guess… I'll see you around," he hurriedly turned around and walked away from the confused teen.

"O-oi, Ahomine! What's this?!"

Aomine stopped a few feet away from the court's entrance. He scratched his cheek. "It's a birthday present, Bakagami!"

Kagami blinked in surprise.

"Eh? W-wait, oi Ahomine! What the hell! Don't just leave like that! HEY!"

Kuroko watched the two from some place further and shook his head in amusement. "They're too easy to manipulate."


	4. Fingers

I'm sorry I didn't update for two weeks. I splurged when I heard Nijimura and Haizaki's merchandise will be out this May so I'm out of money and thus can't pay for the internet. I'll try to update in time this week.

Once again, thanks for **Dream Bound Nightmare** for reviewing. I love you. And thanks for all the favourites and follows and everyone who read this.

By the way, if you have some ideas you want written out, please tell me.

Standard disclaimer apply.

Now then, enjoy. It's MidoKuro this time. Or maybe it's KuroMido?

* * *

"Midorima-kun," Kuroko called with his usual emotionless voice, his eyes staring at certain part of the green haired shooting guard intently.

Midorima Shintarou turned his head slightly from the book he was reading, only giving the blue haired boy part of his attention. "What is it, Kuroko? I'll have you know that I won't tolerate insignificant chattering when I am inside the library trying to study for our incoming finals."

Kuroko deadpanned, thinking that Midorima was the one who spoke more than he did. He shrugged the thought away with a blink, eyes back to that part of Midorima he had been staring at. Noticing that Kuroko was staring at him, Midorima lifted his eyes from his book and fixed his glasses position.

"It is rude to stare, Kuroko."

Kuroko moved his eyes up and stared at Midorima's face blankly. "Do you play piano, Midorima-kun?" he asked out of the blue, confusing the green head at the sudden question.

"What's with the question?" he asked perplexed, his hand moving to fix his glasses again.

Kuroko shrugged. "If you don't want to answer then don't," he said, his tone still monotonous yet managed to sound like he was sulking.

Midorima huffed, his eyes moving the other way when those big blue eyes stared at him like a kicked puppy-an extremely adorable one, if he was to be truthful. He pondered upon the question. It's not like the question was personal or anything like that. There would be no harm in answering it. It wasn't like he was weak to Kuroko's puppy eyes or anything. Yeah, he was just getting rid of a nuisance.

"Yeah, I've played piano before, when I was in elementary school. But I quit not too long after since music wasn't that interesting to me."

Kuroko hummed thoughtfully at the answer, still staring at Midorima intently. Midorima frowned a bit, not sure why he was getting the attention he got. And no, he didn't feel elated at all. It was disturbing. Yes, disturbing and annoying.

"Why did you ask?"

Kuroko looked at him in the eyes before reaching for Midorima's hand that he'd been staring at. He touched the bandaged fingers one by one gently. "I just thought your fingers are elegant like a pianist's finger. So dainty and long. They are beautiful."

The blush that decorated the shooting guard's face for the rest of the day was not caused by the forward and blunt statement. No. Midorima just fet a bit feverish. It wasn't because of Kuroko at all, damn it. Not at all.


	5. Your Name

Err, I actually don't like this one. It's too OOC. But meh, everyone already got their chance with Kuroko, so why not Murasakibara too, right?

Wait, I just realized I don't have any AoKuro written. Oops...? (Should I write one?)

Thank you for **Another observer of the world**, **Wordy Blackbirdy**, and **2 lazy to log in (guest) **for your reviews. Here, all my love for you.

Also thanks for new favourites and follows and all who read this.

Anyway, enjoy. MuraKuro.

Warning: Suggestive meaning implied. OOCness

Standard disclaimer apply

* * *

Kuroko was minding his own business, watching people from his usual seat in Majiba, when a giant sat down in front of him. It was strange but Kuroko paid no heed to the coincidence.

"Doumo, Murasakibara-kun. It's been a while," he greeted plainly.

The purple haired giant lifted his eyes from the assorted snack on the table and tilted his head. "Arere~ Kuro-chin, long time no see," he greeted with his usual lazy grin.

"Indeed. Why are you here, Murasakibara-kun?"

"Ng... Muro-chin was visiting Kagami so I tagged along. But then he ditched me to go on a date with Kagami..." he said, pouting.

Kuroko blinked slowly. Oh. So that was why Kagami had been grinning stupid-more stupidly all day. "I see."

"Mm-hmm..."

They were silent for a while, both not being people of many words. It was that when something struck Kuroko's mind.

"Murasakibara-kun," he called, waiting for the said male to look up before continuing. "Why is your name so long and mouthful?" he asked curiously.

Murasakibara blinked and tilted his head. "Eeh... I wonder why. Maybe because I am big?" he answered innocently.

Kuroko almost spat out his milkshake. He coughed lightly and decided to ask further despite his intuition telling him not to. "Which part of you is?"

Murasakibara put a finger on his lips, thinking. "Ntoo... Everything?"

This time Kuroko did choke on his milkshake. He turned his head to the side, a slight red tinge on his cheeks.

"Kuro-chin?"

Kuroko coughed and shook his head. "Forgive me, Murasakibara-kun. I seem to have thought of something indecent."

Murasakibara stared incomprehensively at Kuroko before dismissing the subject. "Well, Kuro-chin can always call me by name, you know? Like Aka-chin does..."

Kuroko was silent for a while before nodding. "I see. Well then, Atsushi-kun."

The grin on Murasakibara's face was so wide Kuroko couldn't help but wonder if it hurt.

"Then I'll call Kuro-chin, Tetsu-chin, kay?"

Kuroko smiled slightly. "Sure, Atsushi-kun."

* * *

Later, Himuro Tatsuya would wonder what had happened that made Atsushi smile like a loony for days even when their manager was scolding him and regretted not going with the tall center to Majiba.


	6. Too Long!

You guys are such precious beings, I love you all.

Thanks for **Another observer of the world**, **AK47reloaded **(wait, are you Hiruma in disguise?), **hate1994, **and **Wordy Blackbirdy** (special love to you for the chain reviews). You guys made my days with your reviews.

Also thanks for the favourites and follows. You guys also deserve all the love in the world.

This time it's TakaMido/MidoTaka, whichever you like.

**Disclaimer**: I wish I own Takao, but sadly no. Neither do I own Midorin and Kurobasu.

* * *

They had just finished their afternoon practice—with added hours for Midorima and Takao—and were packing up their things.

Midorima was sitting on the bench, in the process of bandaging his fingers back. He let out a tired sigh as he finished. Today was quite long and tiring and he just felt like going back home to rest.

But of course, he could never get his wish.

"Shin-chaaan~" Takao drawled his name happily, looking like a child who had just gotten a candy. He draped himself over Midorima's back, his arms encircling the green head's neck. "Let's go home~"

Midorima's eyebrow twitched but he didn't remove the teen from his being. He was getting used to having the raven head all over him. "I am going home without you telling me to. And stop with that ridiculous nickname. I sound like a certain child character," he said, huffing in annoyance.

"But your name is too long!" Takao replied, looking indignant.

Sighing in defeat—because there was just no arguing with Takao in his sulky mood—Midorima stood up, forcing Takao to unlatch himself unless he wanted to choke the taller teen.

"Ne, ne, Shin-chan..." Takao started, holding his hands behind his back and walking backward. There was a glint of excitement in his eyes that made Midorima a bit sceptical.

Midorima fixed his glasses, the object glinting under the afternoon sun. "What is it, Takao?"

The PG grinned wide. "Try calling my name, Shin-chan! Come on! Come on!"

Midorima blinked and sputtered in surprise. "W-wha-why would I call your name!"

Takao grinned and wiggled his eyebrows. He lifted his thumbs and moved them around. "Well, I've always called you with your given name, so it's just fair to let you call my name, right? And moreover," here Takao blushed lightly as he scratched his cheek. "Aren't we… you know?" he muttered vaguely, lifting his thumb up.

Midorima coughed, recognizing the gesture. He turned his head to the side to hide the blush that crept up his cheeks. "W-well…"

Takao looked up hopefully.

"…no. I can't after all."

"Aww, c'mon Shin-chaan! You're no fun!" Takao whined, throwing himself to the shooting guard. Midorima wobbled but caught Takao. One of his hand went to Takao's waist while the other steadying his back. Time seemed to stop when they realized the position they were in. "U-uh… sorry—"

Gulping nervously, Midorima leaned down. "Kazunari…" he whispered to Takao's ear.

"Eh?"

Feeling the embarrassment tenfold, Midorima quickly pushed Takao away and walked ahead in brisk pace, his face flaming red.

Takao looked dazed, blushing to the tip of his ears. He snapped out of it a while later, a stupid grin upon his face. "Shin-chan! Say that again!" he shouted to the SG. He chased after him and crashed to his back, wrapping his arms around the taller one tightly.

"No way!"

"Eeeh! But whyyyy?"

"O-obviously because your name is too long. Now let go, I can't move like this." Midorima unlatched Takao from his being and resumed his brisk pace.

"Eh? Wait, Shin-chan! Don't throw my argument back at me! Oi! Shin-chaaaan!"

* * *

Also, I'll say this again. If you have a pairing and a prompt you want to be made a drabble, please drop a word.

Thanks for reading and please review.


	7. Shin-chan is the Cutest!

I haven't had inspiration to write new stories, I'm sorry. After this and one more story, I think update will not be once a week.

Anyways, it's TakaMido again. This should probably be posted before the previous one, but meh. Watch out for OOCness.

Thanks to **Alina'AK47, Another observer of the world, **and **IamKuroSora** for the reviews. And thanks for all the new alerts.

Standard disclaimer apply.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Ne, ne, Shin-chan?"

Midorima looked up from taping his fingers and cocked an eyebrow at the point guard. Takao grinned and sidled up close to the green head on the bench, his blue eyes twinkling.

"Do you have anyone you like?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Midorima's expression changed into one of dismay immediately, not liking the topic of conversation. "What does it matter?"

"Well it matters a lot!" Takao exclaimed exuberantly, his arms flailing excitedly. "As a young man in his perk of youth, one should have a romantic relationship with at least one person! Don't tell me you are as asexual as people said?"

An elegant eyebrow twitched as the owner's eyes narrowed. Midorima huffed indignantly and turned his head the other way, and resumed in his task of bandaging his miracle hand. Takao pouted at being ignored, resulting to poking the tall teen on the back to gain his attention back.

"Neee, Shin-chaaan~! Tell me already!" he whined, draping himself over the shooting guard's shoulders when the said teen didn't acknowledge his (annoying) effort.

"Shut up, Takao," Midorima hissed, failing to tape his fingers due to the sudden added weight. "Fine, if you want to know so badly. I do."

Takao brightened up. "Waaai~! So Shin-chan is not asexual!" he cheered. "So, who's the lucky guy?" he asked again.

Midorima opened his mouth before closing them again, frowning in thoughts. "Why did you conclude it is a male?"

"Weeell~ it's because Shin-chan is such a tsundere ("I am not a tsundere!") that I cannot imagine him being with a girl. And you fit an uke's descriptions despite being so big~" Takao grinned foxily.

Midorima's eyebrow rose again. "Uke?"

"That doesn't matter! Answer~!"

Midorima sighed. "I don't know why you need to know my personal info, but I will concede to your question. This is why I don't like stubborn ones…" he muttered the last part. "I admit I have a bit of a crush on Akashi back in middle school. I don't know if it still exists now, though…."

Takao was silent for a while before he leaned on Midorima, back to back. "Hmm…. But don't Akashi and that huge center together?"

Midorima fixed his glasses position, the glint covering his eyes from being seen. "They were. They broke up at graduation."

"I see…" Takao said, suddenly quiet.

Midorima noticed the silence of his partner and glanced back, not able to move due to Takao leaning on him. "Takao? Why are you suddenly silent?"

Takao didn't respond for some times. He finally opened his mouth when around five minutes had passed. "Ne, Shin-chan?" he voiced out, turning around to latch chest-to-back to Midorima.

"W-what are you do—"

"Can't I be the one you like?"

"—ing—huh?" Takao's question caught him off guard. "Wha—?"

"I said, I want to be the one Shin-chan likes. I don't want Shin-chan to like anyone else. Because Shin-chan is now my partner, so Shin-chan should only like me. Shin-chan is so amazing and I want to have all that is you for myself. Having your acknowledgment felt like I just conquered a country, but it's not enough. I want to have your heart and everything else too. I know this is a selfish request, but I can't help it! Is… is that impossible, Shin-chan?" Takao buried his face to the broad back, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable at the same time after confessing his feelings for the shooting guard.

When Midorima didn't answer, Takao dared himself to lift his face. What he saw made him tear up and grin wide. "Ah! I know it! Shin-chan is the cutest when he is being a tsundere! Your blushing face is soooooo cuuuuteeee!" Takao exclaimed, glomping and squeezing the green head tightly.

"S-shut up! I-I was just feeling a bit hot! I'm not blushing because of your confession!"

Takao only laughed at the tsundere-ish statement. _'I really do like Shin-chan.'_

* * *

_Outside_

Miyaji's eyebrow twitched madly, a sneer on his face as he held himself back from rushing into the clubroom with pineapples—no, durians in his hands to throw Takao and Midorima with. "This is a damned clubroom, damn it. Not a VIP love lounge in a freaking love hotel!"


	8. Kuroko no Oshigoto

This will be the last update for a while because as I've said before, I've lost any inspiration for any other than NijiHai. *OTP feels to stronk*

This one is GOMxKuroko, but mostly AkaKuro and MuraKuro.

Warning: OOCness

Standard disclaimer apply.

* * *

It happened one day in their second year in middle school. It was right about the time where counseling about future occupation would be held.

Kise was the first to approach him.

"KUUUROOOKOOOCCHIII~~!"

Kuroko sighed as he marked his book, a bit annoyed that his reading time was disturbed. He turned to the blond bundle of hyperactivity.

"Yes?"

"What are you going to be in the future? Tell me, tell me!"

Kuroko could—as always—see ears perking and tail wagging behind Kise. "If you must know, I still haven't decided yet, but I don't see how that concerns you, Kise-kun."

"So mean!"

Kuroko only stared blankly at Kise.

Kise pouted and shuffled closer, sitting on the ground next to Kuroko's desk and placing his head on the blue haired male's thigh. "Umm… Kurokocchi still haven't decided yet, right?" he asked meekly, his eyes having this hopeful look in them.

"In case you have a hard time hearing, yes, I did say that, Kise-kun."

Kise faked crying, burying his head to Kuroko's thigh. "You are so mean, Kurokocchi!"

"Well is there any reason for this conversation? I want to get back to reading."

Kise looked up, his eyes bright. "I want Kurokocchi to be a stewardess—I mean, steward! You see, I'm planning to be a pilot so I want to—"

"No way!" a rough voice suddenly spoke up, cutting Kise mid speech. A hand also descended and pried Kise off the small basketball player's leg. "Tetsu is going to be a detective with me!"

"That hurts! Aominecchi, why are you so rough?!" Kise whined, trying to latch back onto Kuroko only to be kicked away by the tanned forward player.

Kuroko stared up at Aomine, his face blank as ever. "Since when was that decided?"

Aomine stuttered. "W-well! Don't you like mysteries?!" he tried to reason.

"That I do. But—"

"If anything, I think Kuroko is better suited to be a nurse."

"EH?!"

"Midorimacchi, since when are you here?!"

Midorima looked annoyed and ready to kill the owner of that shrill voice. "I don't know if you guys have short memory or if you are just that stupid. This is my class also."

"Oh—WAIT, WHAT?!"

Kuroko nodded to his classmate, greeting him calmly. "Hello, Midorima-kun. I see you are back from the library already."

"Yeah, I got what I needed."

"But that still didn't answer why I am suited to be a nurse or why you people are deciding my future job for me."

Midorima halted in his move of fixing his glasses position. "Ehm. That… that is, you are someone of gentle disposition and I think you have good bedside manner. Not that I think of you or anything. I just concluded those from what I've seen of you. Don't misunderstand."

Kuroko just nodded, not really wanting to prolong the strange discussion anymore.

"Eeh…." another voice appeared, making the four turn to the class door, "What is everyone doing here?" Murasakibara Atsushi asked with a big lollipop stuck inside his mouth. How he managed to speak that way, no one wanted to know.

"We were discussing Kurokocchi's possible future occupation, Murasakibaracchi! And I still think Kurokocchi will look good as a steward—!" answered Kise cheerfully.

"Shut it, Kise. You are annoying!" Aomine said, whacked the blond in the head. Kise cried, latching to Kuroko's leg again. "And let go of Tetsu's leg, you pervert!"

"Hmm…" the tallest teen hummed, walking closer. "I want Kuro-chin to be my assistant later. Will you, Kuro-chin?"

Kuroko looked at him, looking like he was actually considering the job. "If I'm not mistaken, Murasakibara-kun is aiming to be a patisserie, right?"

"Um-hmm…"

"I suppose I could consider that as a possible occupation."

"No, no, Tetsuya. You cannot be Atsushi's assistant."

Kuroko looked turned to face the front and saw that Akashi had already made himself comfortable on his desk. "Why is that, Akashi-kun?"

Akashi smirked, silencing all his other players. "Why, because you are going to be my wife, of course. Why else?"

Kuroko was silent. So were the others.

"WHAT?!"

"Eeh? But I want Kuro-chin as my assistant. Aka-chin, can't you share?" Murasakibara asked, pouting slightly.

Akashi contemplated for a while before nodding. "I suppose if it's Atsushi, I can share Tetsuya for a few hours."

"Yaay~"

Kuroko was still speechless, his eyes staring blankly at Akashi without blinking. Akashi just stared back at him with a smile.

"What the hell! Tetsu is going to be a detective with me, Akashi!"

"No way! Kurokocchi is better to be a steward!"

"I still think Kuroko is a good nurse."

"What the hell are you talking about, Midorima? Tetsu is—"

"Going to be Akashi Seijuuro's wife, right?"

"Yes! Wait, no!"

Akashi turned his intimidating stare at the tanned player, a creepy smile growing on his face. "What, are you trying to oppose me, Daiki?"

Aomine gulped. "N-no, Akashi. Forgive me."

Akashi nodded satisfied. "Of course. As long as you would willingly up your training triple the usual amount."

Aomine whimpered imagining the torture he would get later.

"But Akashicchi! That's not fair! Why do you and Murasakibaracchi the ones who get to have Kurokocchi to yourselves?" Kise protested weakly.

"Because I said so."

"Hmph. I don't think Kuroko will be a good housewife, though."

"No one asked you, Shintarou."

"I was just expressing my opinion."

Kuroko cleared his throat, getting the attention of his teammates instantly. "Don't I get a say in this?"

Akashi grinned wide. "No way."

"…. Whatever you say, then, Akashi-kun."

"Of course. As I said, since I always win, I'm always right."

"Right…"

* * *

**Omake**

The middle aged man's eyebrow twitched as he stared at the piece of paper in his hand.

"Kuroko-san, what is the meaning of this?"

Kuroko stared blankly at the man, not comprehending what he was asking of him. "I believe that is my future job's form, sir."

The man sighed exasperatedly. "I know that!"

"Then why bother asking, sir?"

"I'm asking why you wrote down 'Akashi-kun's wife' as main choice and 'Murasakibara-kun's assistant' as the secondary choice!"

Kuroko was silent for a while. "Because Akashi-kun said so. And since Akashi-kun said he always wins, he is always right."

"I GIVE UP!"

* * *

Thank you for reading! Please review. If you'd give me a prompt and a pairing that would be most appreciated.


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